I’ve been thinking too much for a long time. Thinking about the past, the present and the future. How? Theorizing on how the past has made me who I am today. Wondering how the present is going to affect my future. And trying to figure out the best way to act in the present so it will influence my future the right way.
It’s not easy. It’s not funny, too. It’s been a harrowing experience, what with a crazy family reaching the threshold of cuckoo-ness. When you look at it, life sometimes doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s empty. You keep on doing the same thing over and over again, but you simply fall back in the same round-about.
It’s time that I let go. It’s time that I leave all the emptiness behind and fill my life with something else. Yes, people say psychologists are weird; after all they think about how people’s thoughts, cultural and familial influence, as well as social background affect them as a whole. So it’s not easy. My favorite psychologist is Sigmund Freud, the “sexy” psychologist. He has bizarre explanations for many subjects. But I don’t blame him. He’s not always wrong, but he’s not always right either. He may sound like a perv who has credit for whatever he says. As long as he finds a way to relieve all his tensions.
I’m going back to meditation once more. I’m going to hit the clubs and start swinging again. And I’m going to be not afraid of showing who I am. Because doing that sets my mind free.