I’ve been thinking too much for a long time. Thinking about the past, the present and the future. How? Theorizing on how the past has made me who I am today. Wondering how the present is going to affect my future. And trying to figure out the best way to act in the present so it will influence my future the right way.
It’s not easy. It’s not funny, too. It’s been a harrowing experience, what with a crazy family reaching the threshold of cuckoo-ness. When you look at it, life sometimes doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s empty. You keep on doing the same thing over and over again, but you simply fall back in the same round-about.
It’s time that I let go. It’s time that I leave all the emptiness behind and fill my life with something else. Yes, people say psychologists are weird; after all they think about how people’s thoughts, cultural and familial influence, as well as social background affect them as a whole. So it’s not easy. My favorite psychologist is Sigmund Freud, the “sexy” psychologist. He has bizarre explanations for many subjects. But I don’t blame him. He’s not always wrong, but he’s not always right either. He may sound like a perv who has credit for whatever he says. As long as he finds a way to relieve all his tensions.
I’m going back to meditation once more. I’m going to hit the clubs and start swinging again. And I’m going to be not afraid of showing who I am. Because doing that sets my mind free.
“When the moon takes the place of the sun, and the night sky is filled with a million stars, then we shall meet again.” Those words rang at the back of my head as I stared at the blank sheet of paper in front of me. Aargh! I said the same words when I was with my boyfriend the last time we had met. That was almost five years ago. Why did they bounce back to me just as I was composing a song?
Several things have changed in the last five years. I was struggling to be a writer back then. I was searching for my inner voice. I was learning how to evoke persuasive feelings through the ink of the pen. I was trying to make things work – for myself, and for my family. Yet, here I am now, living the life of an aspiring writer and seeking to change the world for the better! Ah, the pen is a mighty sword indeed.
I managed to complete my prose after some time.
“When the moon takes the place of the sun
I will be standing on higher stage
I will show the world the things they have done
I’ll reveal a brighter image
Unlike the one previously shun.
“When the night sky is filled with a million stars
I will run my way to you
I will throw away my old mask
I’ll make sure I make it through
Then we shall meet again.”
It looks like a song. Well, that’s just me.
In every single one of us, we have our own unique substance. It could be a skill, an ability, an attitude, or a personality. It could be our dreams. We just need to spend some time – quiet time – to find it. Once we discover it, we need to pin it right there and then, before we lose it. From there, we develop it slowly and allow it to grow larger and larger. As that happens, we set up checkpoints so that we know where we are.
It’s just make makes us stand out. It’s what makes us sui generis.